Who Am I? [Vol. 2]

The mirror reflected an image.
Is that really me? Is that who I am suppose to be?
Scars running down her face, into her heart.
She was not the same anymore, something had changed.
Was it for good or bad, no one knew... not even herself.
Everywhere she looked, she saw her bloodshed
Every field she walked by was no less
No shoulders to rest on, no tears to shed.
Just a long, windy pathway ahead.
Who am I? She asked herself.
No one answered but just the bloodshed.

Who Am I? [Vol.1]

“Who am I?” she asked herself the thousand and first time.

She had never been so fragile in her life, well, at least that is what she convinced herself.

She did not have the courage and will to fight herself anymore.

There were so many boundaries that laid before her,

She did not dare cross them,

The scars that she gets from leaping from one end to another.

The scars that were never healed, leaving the stingy mark of her.

She wanted to let of go of all her memories, but it wasn’t enough.

The scar was not on her skin! It was on her soul, so deep and fatal that she could not live anymore.

She could live, but only by the supervision of the rules that bound her. She had to let go of her free half and caged herself just to please the ones around her.

She knew that life was nothing but brutal, but was it wrong to expect even a little from it? All she ever asked for was acceptance.

The world would not accept her, unless she embraced herself for the who she is. She did not believe in herself and neither did the world.

Her life had been sacrificed, haunted and liberated from the powerful angel of happiness.

 All that she was left with was an open book, filled with just rotten memory.. 

Emotionless Addiction

He held her tight and promised her that he would never let her go.
He loved her more than life,
She meant the world to him.
But it wasn't true. It was an emotionless addiction.
Just like alcohol or cigarette.
Her attention was his soul, her touch was his lust.
He looked at her with greedy eyes,
She laid there so perfect.
Only if his promise was true,
She would have been by his side and not in the
Grave.

Black & White

She laid down on her bed, head rush.
She heard nothing but a voice inside her head,
it kept reminding her that she was not perfect.
She let the darkness engulf her mind,
and slowly pulled down the blind.
She would not let anyone enter door,
as she had been hurt too many times before.
This world is nothing but black & white,
but we always let it out of our sight.
She hid under her covers and let her eyes pour,
she regretted all the things she did before..
She had changed due to circumstances,
there was a new world around her.
She could not recognize herself,
the mirror reflect something but she sees something else.
All she left due is to apologize,
she had let go of people who meant to her more than life.
This world is nothing but black & white,
but we always let it out of our sight.

IF our love was true.

If our love was true,

There would be no need to prove,

How you feel for me.

As I will not be insecure

And everything would go the

Way we wanted it to,

Giving us no reason to

Give it another shot.

Pitiable State

The walls we built, break down.
The spirit we had, lays down.
The grounds on which we stand, trembles down.

Everyone is pointing out their gun,
no one is ready to take the blame.
This life has more to give,
then what we usually take.

Misunderstanding,
is all the takes.
Which pulls us down,
with pity and disgrace.

All we had to do,
was listen with an open mind.
All they had to do,
was embrace us with open arms.

Now all that lays between us;
are broken glasses,
shattered memories,
and torn smiles.

But no matter what happens,
I will still be by your side.

Kick Misery Out Of Your Life.

The note below is not written by me, I read it somewhere! I could relate to it tremendously and thought it would be good if I could share it too.


Everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to be miserable, yet we inadvertently invite misery into our life. If you knew the triggers that invite misery, you would certainly avoid them. So, here are some of them.

(1) The grass is always greener on the other side.
Every time you see another person and wish you had his/her life, you are making yourself miserable. You have no idea about the struggles of another, and are better off with your own trials and tribulations.

(2) When you think about what others may be thinking about you, you become miserable.
All sorts of nonsensical ideas fill your mind, and you end up feeling blah. What others think of you is no your concern.

(3) Whenever you choose to feel envious about the good fortunes of others, you are opening the door of misery in your mind.
Be happy for others! Genuinely rejoice in their superior talent, wisdom and success.


(4) Every time you start thinking about what is lacking in your life, you feel miserable.
Even a sunny day becomes grey, and nothing can cheer you up! Avoid misery by making a mental list of all that you have.

(5) Whenever you try to change someone, you are inviting misery in your life.
It is difficult enough to make changes within oneself; what to speak of transforming others! Work on yourself, and leave others to be as they are.

Your reaction to what happens in your life will leave you feeling either miserable or content. React positively and ward of misery.

I really hope you could relate to this, the way I could. Knowledge like this is seldom passed, endeavor as much as you can now! :)


cheers xx


-Monday, 30th July 2012 [10:10 pm]

Love At First Sight?

What is Love At First Sight?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?

- Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.

One line thesis on "Love At First Sight". Credits to one of the most popular songs of this year.

When people say 'they felt connected' or 'they thought there was some force pulling them together' it is not true.

You cannot fall in love with someone the minute you meet them.   Yes you maybe attracted to them, physically. But being attracted to someone is not the same as being 'connected'!

I completely disagree with the entire theory of "chemistry" between the couple. A couple do not have to look together. If they love each other enough, they will naturally look good together! 

You cannot simply fall in love with someone without getting to know them well. Until you do not know the person's personality, how can you fall in love with them? 

You cannot love someone who you do not know well enough! You have to understand each other, know the good and the bad side and accept the person for who they are.

If you do fall in love, at first sight. Ask yourself this: "What made you fall in love?"

I am betting the only thing you can come up with is:PHYSICAL QUALITIES.

Is that a good enough reason? HA. Yes, keep thinking hard and let me know yeah? 

-Thursday, 26th July 2012 [8:00PM]

A Mixed Confusion

Change the subject, change the lines.

But no matter what happens,

I hope things would be alright.

A hope with no candle.

A hope with no light.

All that's left behind, 

Is the tragic of my life.

The fear to lose you;

The pleasure to be free

A mixed confusion 

That has no happy ending.

I just want to escape this tragedy.

A heart that belongs to a lion,

A scar that cannot heal.

Whenever I see your smile,

My heart gives a little squeal.

Now you're gone, far away,

But thinking about you, makes me smile..

All the joyful moment we had,

let it be war or love;

I just had a glory of having you in my life.

But, that passed away in second

And there are just memories;

All left behind!

-Tuesday, 26th June 2012 [8:30pm]

Thank You Note (You Never Received)

Hi you! I know it is a little too late now, you might have even moved on but I just needed to get this out of my head. I know our relationship has never been the perfect love story but you have nevertheless been a great part of my life.
I just needed to pour my heart out to you! I realized a little too late how much you mean to me. I actually haven't acknowledged and thanked you enough for all that you have done for me. I've always been selfish and greedy about myself and I would like to apologize with all due respect.

Well, I haven't mentioned to you how lucky I was to have you. I was graced to have such a caring and wonderful person in my life. I may never find someone who could replace you. There was even a point where, without you, I was like a broken puzzle piece. You completed me.
You made me feel so beautiful every moment when I was with you. You even stood by me when I was going through a lot of things. You held my hand an guided me through the mess and storm that surrounded me. You kissed me gently to assure me that you would always be there for me. You hugged me to comfort me and I always felt like home in your embrace.

The way your eyes shined when you looked at me, made me understand how passionate someone can be. The way we talked night after night without caring about the world around us. The way you wrapped your arms around me and understood me no matter what. The billion dollar smile that brightened my day and reminded me how lucky I was. Even when we fought, I could hear the love and care deep underneath.

You have done so much for me and I have never acknowledged you for it! I always broke your heart and let you down. Anyone would be lucky to have you...maybe the lucky one is not me. You will find someone who loves you with the same intensity someday.

I am so sorry because I have always wronged you, in so many ways that I do not even know how I am going to face you. No matter who you are or what you have become. I would always love you for making me who I am today! You will always have a special place right inside my soul and;

Every time I close my eyes to think about you and I. I fell at home, all so peaceful and serene because I know I will never be alone.

-Saturday, 23rd June 2012 [11:22pm]

More Than Friends.

We were together, even as friends.
We knew each other, more than anyone cared.
I have never felt this lonely, after you walked away.
I'm left behind, with a smell of my fate.
I just thought we could be more than friends.
I just failed to understand that this story won't end my way.
I would've kept my feelings to myself..
If I knew confessing it to you, would bring you away!

-Thursday, 21st June 2012 [10:10am]

In Pain Forever

I want to be free
Not locked in your custody

Praying for freedom
Annoyed at love
In confusion
No more memories

For crying out loud; your
Over reacting
Racing for oxygen
Everyday of my life
Verifying truth and lies
Everybody has
Recognized this fear.

-Tuesday, 12th June 2012 [8:30pm]

Goal Of Life Is Like A Kite.

I was just looking out of my room; then suddenly my eyes rested on this little boy who was flying a kite. The boy was so patient and observant.
His mother called out to him but he was just focussed on successfully flying the kite. Due to the amount of concentration, the kite was still soaring high in the sky!
Beautifully flying through the wind, going with the flow...gradually floating up and suddenly flowing back down. But every time it fell down; he continued to concentrate and still had the confidence in him that his kite will fly higher than the others.

Pondering on this wonderful scene; it crossed my mind that our goals in life is like that kite. It flows and floats in the direction we want it to flow. Sometimes we soar high up and raise our head up with pride and sometimes we fall flat low and are in no competition to others!
But due to our self-esteem, self-confidence and will power, we can actually make our kites flow right back at the top where it belongs.

To maintain that height, we need confidence. Not OVER CONFIDENCE, mind you. Just confidence, patience, concentration and motivation which will no matter what continue to guide us to reach and fulfill our goals!

-Monday, 11th June 2012 [11:56am]

Mr/Ms Perfect?

Romantic movies have successfully corrupted and invaded our minds. The "Happy Ending" stories are so perfect that we dread to have a story like that ourselves. It has made our expectation on love really high!

Through falling for someone is easy. But what we have to realize is that no one is perfect out there. This world is cruel and ugly! Unless you find some fairy godparents who could create a perfect life, world and person for you. Then good for you Sherlock :)
But our lives are no movies, they are no fairytale. If you cannot compromise in life you will not be able to be happy.

Why are the rates of divorce increasing in the world? Why are teenagers throwing the phrase 'I Love You' out so much? Why don't relationships last more than six months? Could this be because of these perfect love stories we watch or hear about?

Stories are just emotions that authors or writers with creative minds and ideas scribble! Why do we follow their ideas when we can create our own? We can make anything beautiful.

I was told once that things are always created twice: first in the workshop of the mind then only in reality. Basically, anything that happens in reality is actually just a blueprint of what you wanted in your mind.
Therefore instead of relying on what movies and fairytales portray on love stories we should just create our own love story and make it beautiful!

-Sunday, 10th June 2012 [3:14pm]

Two People, One Sacrifice.

Walk out of that door every morning with a smile to make people happy or maybe just move on with things, even though it really hurts. Suppressing and hiding your feelings to see that particular person happy who means so much than life.
So you sacrifice all your pain and you do what keeps them happy. Basically you lie about your feelings for their sake. There is more to a relationship between two people.

The understanding and caring or sometimes even the sacrifice. But you cannot keep sacrificing from your half of the relationship. It would explode your nerves and even your heart someday.
Yes, there is a line.  You cannot always keep hiding those feelings to keep them happy now. Can you?

You think it is very healthy for your relationship. But you cannot control it after a certain point. When you think they are dominating how you live. When you start figuring out maybe you have done a little too much. When you start realizing this is not perfect.

But what we don't tend to remember is that, at that point we get very selfish. You do not recognize the sacrifice the other person made. We look beyond their love and understanding. We think we are doing too much but do not step into their shoes!!

All that I am saying is, relationships are made by two people. They involve two lives, two hearts, two emotions, two feeling and even two visions. We need to accept the other person with their flaws and beauty! If we fail to do so, what is the point of that relationship?

-Friday, 8th June 2012 [6:15pm]

Women Power.

A women can play many roles..
She can be a mother and give birth to a child through a very hard and painful process. She would sacrifice her life to protect her child. She would shower just selfless love.
She can be a lover and change a man's life. She could show a man the right path and hold his hand through thick and thin.
She can be a daughter and maker her family proud by working hard and achieving good grades. She would even let of her dreams to fulfill that of her parents.
She can be a housewife and run the whole house. She would make everybody happy. Wake up in the morning and cheer everybody up. She guides everyone through the right path.

But when a women hits success, she is always accused. Why is that so?
If a women can go through labour, she can sacrifice her goals and dreams and she can run the entire house with a smile. Can't she be talented and successful?
Why do we have to judge her and give her names and disgrace her? Is that what the society has taught us?

There are still places in the world; where little girls are burned alive because they are a burden to the family.
Have you forgotten that your mother was once a little girl too? There would be no life in this planet without a girl.

There are still places in the world; where little girls are raped.
Have you forgotten respect? What about her future? What about her dignity? What about her innocence? Look into that eyes, that call out for help!!

There are still places in the world; where teen girls are being kidnapped and dragged into prostitution!

Why do only girls have to suffer so much? Even after all the hardship they go through?
Just give it a little thought!!

-Thursday, 7th June 2012 [11:44pm]

What true love is about.

Grab on to love,
If it is true and kind.
If you know that he loves you,
for who are and not any physical reasons.
When you know,
he would be with you even when you are blind.
If he holds on to you proudly!
Claiming you to belong with him.

When he looks at you,

with a fire in his eyes.

When you know he cannot live a day without making you realize
how beautiful you are!
When he cannot live a day without talking to you.
Because my fellow girlfriends,
this is what true love is about.

Trust

Trust is build. Trust is made.
But once it is broken, sadness you face.
A pain of shattered hopes and lies of perfect expectation.
All of these breaks with trust.
Love or lust can never be enough if insecurities flare.
Trust is like an addictive game.
But once you lose, you never want to play it ever again.

-Tuesday, 29th May [8:29pm]

Shout Out. Don't keep it to yourself.

Sometimes we keep things to ourselves.
We think people are not ready to listen to our problems.
We think they might laugh at us.
We think they might judge us.
We think they might mock us for the rest of our lives.
We think they are too caught up to listen to us.

But what we do not realize is that;
Keeping that secret sealed in our heart for the rest of our lives isn't going to solve any of the problems.
Instead it might create more problems for ourselves.
It might not at the moment. But in the future, someday, sometime.. you will realize that keeping the secret inside you was the worst mistake you would've ever made.

We will have to find someone:
Who understands us.
Who loves us for who we are.
Who listens to us.
Who is there for us.

I know sometimes it gets hard to trust just anyone.
You might've gotten hurt before and have a hard time trusting someone.
If that is the case then keep a dairy! Write a blog!
Work out. Do something you really love!
Someday or the other, you will eventually open up?

But the time period when you still have that ache in your heart because of the secrets your keeping to yourself.
Distract yourself from it...

I know many people just say things and it is hard to imply it in our daily life.. But no harm trying eh? :)
Cheers x

- Sunday, 27th May 2012 [8:14pm]

Your Sexy & You Should Know It.

The new size 2 is a size 0.

The new size 6 is a size 14.

How does it even matter what size we are physically?

What counts is the size of your heart.

If you really are beautiful; 

you do not need any make up. 

you do not need people to tell you that your pretty everyday of your life. 

you do not need people to appreciate your face. 

you do not need attention from people. 

you do not need people judging you by your clothe size. 

you just are beautiful and people see it.

people love to be around you and trust you.

you make people laugh in the worst of times.

you always try and make people smile.

you cannot stand anyone upset.

you sacrifice your happiness for theirs.

that's what makes you beautiful.

not what you wear. not what you eat. not what brand of make up you use. not the amount of money you spend on yourself.

a size 22 is way beautiful then a size 2.

dont let peoples decision change yourself!

be who you are and let people notice the beauty within you.

-Saturday, 26th May 2012 [11:09am]

Disappointment

I am a disappointment in myself.
Never really achieved the thing I wanted.
Never really achieved what they wanted from me.
Disgraced, Discriminated and Discouraged.
Will I live up to your expectation?
The fear to lose someone's trust.
The agony of breaking relationships.
I am not perfect like everyone else is.
I am a little slow with things like this.
I need time and I need space.
Please let me sleep?
Please let me breathe?
I want my last breaths to be filled with peace.

-Friday, 25th May 2012 [1:07pm]

Sometimes Life Brings Us Down.

Sometimes life brings us down a path which gets complicated.
We are not in our senses and are not aware about whats right and whats wrong. Life takes a wrong turn and we start degrading..
Down the cliff! We hit the bottom ground so hard that we wake up and realize our mistakes.
We then get motivated to change and start working hard to climb out of the cliff again. But, it suddenly hits our mind that nobody is acknowledging this change...
Demotivation steps in and causes a silent slip back into the dark and gloomy cliff. This cycle is never ending!
We let it continue and never reach the top of the cliff which is bright and beautiful. If we had successfully climbed the cliff and kept our self-confidence and hard-work, we would've been enjoying the sun and lemonade.
We would've been acknowledged and glorified on our success. We would've left a footprint and set a path for people to follow.
But! Unfortunately, it would've only been possible if we had looked on the bright side and climbed the cliff without giving up; we would've climbed the ladder of success.
Where we actually belong!

-Wednesday, 23rd May 2012 [5:44pm]

What We Are Made Of.

Raises head with high hope, to touch the sky.
Wakes up every morning, to brighten a smile.
Cries for help and screams at joy.
But when things get better, gives in a sly.
A care for pure heart, A hinch of love;
A destiny awaits you in your life.
Nobody has to give in, just follow the path.
It may lead you to the virtual world but you look for happiness.
Work hard, achieve what you want.
Chuck negativity out of your life.
Face reality with a brave heart and that is how you gain a heart.
At the end, nothing matters.
When you live life, live it to the fullest.
As you may leave this all behind.
Do what you do best, but do it with a smile.

-Monday, 21st May 2012 [8:54 pm]